The hostility between the colonies and the British government, headed by King Big Fat Stupid III, was bound to turn into violence, and finally, on the fateful night of April 18, 1775, the Revolutionary War began when Paul Revere made his legendary “midnight ride,” galloping all the way from Boston to Lexington while shouting the message that would resound through the annals of history: “I CAN’T STOP MY HORSE!

Dave Barry’s History of the Millenium So Far